I wake up wrecked. This time, it’s not from insomnia or drinking the night before. I’m left with the remnants of a dream where I am visited by ghosts of lovers past. One lover anyway. You’ve probably been there. It can be painful for the subconscious mind to dredge up the past and make it feel present again. There are many spiritual reasons to explain why you might be dreaming about your ex.
Spiritual Meaning of Dreaming About Your Ex
1. You’re Grieving
If you’re still grieving the lost relationship, this could be part of the process. If you’re thinking about them all the time, it’s not surprising when they appear in your dreams. Have you taken the time to fully feel your feelings during your waking hours? You truly cannot hide from your grief. You may also be experiencing complicated grief. The American Psychological Association identifies three types: chronic, delayed, or absent grief. Essentially, complicated grief occurs when the loss was so devastating that you cannot seem to move forward no matter how much time passes. It could be time to seek professional help to address it.
2. You Lack Closure
You might also dream about your ex when you feel like the relationship is unresolved. Do you need closure? I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but closure is an inside job. Your ex can’t give it to you. You’re going to need to find a way to make peace with what happened even if it wasn’t what or how you wanted it to end.
3. You’re Afraid to Be Hurt Again
Sometimes, former relationships can linger as you try to move forward. One spiritual meaning of dreaming about your ex is that you are afraid to be hurt again. Reliving that experience in your dreams or being reminded of it could be your subconscious expressing your fears for the future. It’s natural to fear that new beginnings could lead to hurtful endings, but you can’t have love without both risk and vulnerability.
4. You Need a Reality Check
If you’ve moved on and found yourself in a healthier relationship, your dreams could be trying to contrast it with a previous one to help you grasp just how good you’ve got it. It’s easy to either romanticize the past or feel that a challenging one can hurt your chances for the future. A dream about your ex could be a timely reminder to appreciate what you have and remember how far you’ve come.
5. You Miss That Version of You
An often-overlooked spiritual meaning of dreaming about your ex is that you could miss who you were when you were with them. Do you miss that happy, carefree version of yourself who felt loved and adored in equal measure? It’s normal to miss earlier versions of yourself. If past betrayals or losses shattered your sense of security, you may find yourself longing for a version of yourself that felt more hopeful and trusting.
6. Forgiveness is Required
Do you need to forgive your ex? Your kneejerk reaction could be strongly for or against this idea. The flipside of the coin is this: Do you need to forgive yourself? Another spiritual meaning of ex dreams could be that you need to forgive someone — and that someone might be yourself. This nudge from your subconscious could be the last thing you want — and the one thing you truly need to move on and be a happier, healthier person.
7. You’ve Missed a Lesson
Dreaming about your ex can also mean that you missed a lesson in the relationship and its ending. Tell yourself the story of the relationship. Better still, write it down. How did it begin? What was it like? How did it end? There’s no need for a novella. Just go over the highlights you would give to a new friend or lover. Now read it. Take yourself out of the story and read it with a little more objectivity. Have you placed all the blame on yourself or your ex? Have you cast yourself as the innocent victim or the wronged hero of the story? Look closer. Your subconscious could be trying to tell you that you missed a lesson you need to learn if you don’t want it repeated. Have you fully taken responsibility for your own actions? Have you practiced compassion for others? Do you have enough perspective for a mature, measured retelling or is your story worthy of a telenovela?
8. You’re Dreaming About You
The ex might appear in your dream as the vehicle of the message but not the message itself. They might represent a feeling or idea you have. Don’t take all your dreams literally. Just because you dream about them doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve been repressing feelings for them. Think about how the dream made you feel and what it called to mind. Your ex could be a symbol and not the message itself.
9. It’s Time to Move On
Another spiritual meaning of dreaming about your ex is that it’s time — not to reunite with your ex but to move on. If you dream that they’re with someone else, it could be a reminder that it’s time for you to move forward, too. Often, dreams provide you with an opportunity to process your feelings and gain clarity. Depending on the contents of your dreams, you could be getting a subtle nudge from the Universe that it’s time to stop living in your past and begin to open your eyes to the present. Recommended read: How to Use the Power of Silence After a Break Up
10. You Are Connected
It’s possible that you experience dreams about your ex because of the strong connection you shared. Deep bonds reach a spiritual level. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that you are experiencing these dreams because you’re on their mind or because they’re experiencing some emotional turbulence that you feel. Don’t assume it means they’re wrecked and missing you. It could mean they’re in love and happy now, and you feel the resonance from that. Take what you want out of your interpretation in order to gain perspective about the potential meaning.
11. You Need to Finish Healing
You might already be aware that you’re still experiencing grief. A dream about your ex could be a clue that you need to keep directing your energy toward your healing. It can be tempting to dwell on the past, but it won’t help you move forward. Mine the past for the lessons, but don’t live in the darkness. Dreaming about your ex could be a push from the Universe that you need to dig deeper into your healing and make peace.
12. You’ve Experienced Trauma
Breakups can be a traumatic experience, but it’s also possible you have other trauma from that relationship. Abuse comes to mind. You could be experiencing PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Studies have shown that trauma directly affects dreaming. If you feel like this describes your experience, it may be time to see a trauma therapist.
How to Move Forward After Dreaming About Your Ex
Dreaming about your ex can be emotional. You might need to be gentle with yourself as you process your dream and move on with your day. You could talk it out with a trusted friend or set up an appointment with a therapist. It’s important to pay attention to the message of the dream but take care not to attach more significance to it than is actually there. If you want your ex back, you may be tempted to interpret every dream as a sign. Your dreams could be trying to deliver an important message, but they are unlikely to offer instruction on how to live your life. They are often abstract concepts made up of thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Be careful not to trust a dream over your own knowledge, experience, or intuition. There are many spiritual meanings of dreaming about your ex. If you find yourself waking up wrecked on the shore of one of those dreams, I hope you’ll have the courage to dig through the wreckage to find greater healing and peace. Photo by Jr Korpa on Unsplash
